Help! My Finance textbook has a sense of humour!

Here are some 'gems'.

"Volatility is measured as the standard deviation of annual returns. This last sentence is an example of the sort of statistical jargon that is designed to ensure that quantitative analysts keep their jobs."

"Recall that securities are priced on the basis of the actual number of days in the year in Australia (and many other cricket-playing countries), whereas in the United States, for instance, securities are priced as though there were 360 days in a year. Note that conventions are not necesarily correct chronologically or mathematically, and cricket, while providing an answer for most of life's problems, probably has little to do with the 365-day convention."

"Annuities have a long history. One interesting early annuity was the tontine. Paticipants in a tontine would receive lifetime annual payments in exchange for each making a single payment. As participants died, their payments were redistributed to increase the payments to the surviving participants. The incentive to hasten the demise of other participants was unfortunately, only too evident in some family-based tontines."

"Every transaction eventually has to be settled, whether through cash, through electronic systems or by a visit by Joey Soprano. The payments system has evolved to implement a more orderly process of payments than that envisaged by Mr. Soprano."

"Borrowers come from Mars, while lenders come from Venus."

"The flow of funds from surplus to deficit units is vital to growth an economic development. Money kept under a Scrooge's mattress just produces an uncomfortable night's sleep."

Yeah.

Australian Uni Games

IT IS TIME. I present to you the long overdue post on all the memorable ulty action, parties and associated capers that took place in Adelaide from 24-29 September.

I've mentioned many times before, not to y'all perhaps, about how fortunate I am to have joined the Melb Uni team at this stage in its life cycle. But 6 months in competitive play and I've been to two top-level tournaments already and received a gold and a bronze medal respectively. By the looks of it, I'm well on my way to becoming the most decorated rookie in rookiedom. More significantly though, this year's team (with its fair number of American imports) has been unbelievable. I've had the opportunity to learn from and train with some of Victoria's (and Australia's) top players, be a part of a close-knit, fun and enthusiastic community and basically soak up everything there is to playing ultimate here and with these people.

Enough with the soppy stuff. You're probably more interested in knowing...

How we got there:

Some flew, some road-tripped. As you might remember, I fell in the latter group. I spent 8 hours in severely cramped conditions, because the car was smaller than we bargained for, there was a Southern-drawling, sleep-deprived oaf (i.e. Chuck) in the backseat with me and many, many log-sized sports bags/rucksacks filling in whatever available space there was left. The ride back after the finals on Friday was a lot more pleasant. We went in a different car, everyone was more awake and thrilled about the bronze medal and we played car games. Mostly a bastardised version of 6 Degrees (on crack). Chuck and Steve were really the ones who were any good at it; Suse and I were hopeless, but had fun setting seemingly insurmountable puzzles for the guys. Chuck, with his formidable store of movie trivia, managed to get from Maggie Gyllenhaal to Meryl Streep via Stand By Me, albeit after half an hour. Before we knew it we were back in Melbourne.

Where we stayed:

The Hilton. That's right, the Hilton. While Monash was piled away in some shady backpackers motel, we were livin' it up at the Hilton. I love Melb Uni Sport - it is so well funded. We made the most of it all right, ordering from the Pillow Menu and recuperating in the pool, spa and sauna.

How we played:

We played a total of 10 matches over the week, and remained undefeated up till the 2nd last pool match against University of Queensland, losing 9-10 on universal point. We came back in the quarterfinal to defeat Adelaide Uni 10-7 (which, incidentally, was the team we beat at SUG for the gold). Macquarie Uni fought hard to take the semis from us 14-8, but we whooped Newcastle 15-5 in the bronze medal playoff. In a way, I suppose it felt good winning to take the bronze than losing to receive the silver. It was the best ever finish for Melb Uni and a Southern region team; our previous best was 8th place.


Adelaide Uni - time out


Hard to tell, but that's my grab for a score while huge solid mass of Ballarat guy dives for it. Scary.

Unfortunately, that was probably the highlight of my watery performance at AUG. I felt I played a lot better at SUG, in a sense that I felt more useful and had more of a presence on the field. Admittedly, considering that we had half a different team and obviously different circumstances, the dynamic would have been, and was, indeed, different. But I still think I could have played better. It's a little frustrating; I put a lot expectation on my performance on the field, but for lack of skill and experience, am frequently disappointed in myself. How I'd love to skip the growing pains and go straight to the part where I play brilliantly. =)

Why half the team was drunk/hungover on Thursday:

The ultimate frisbee party.


Johnny expending excess energy


Pat: Chuck heard that we might need women for AUG and was willing to step up.


Alica and Barrie - the token couple


Me and Pat. There was a bit of the 'Asian glow' there, as I was probably on my 4th drink then. Pat narrowly missed out winning Best Hair, but did win Most Doable Guy. The (drunk) Ballarat girls were all over him, literally and metaphorically, and were chanting "Paaat Crosbyyy Paaaat Crosbyyy" all night.

The rest of the team:


Back: Freise, Chris, Frankie, Chuck
Middle: Barrie, Johnny, Rich, Pat, Steve
Front: Nicole, me, Michelle, Alica, Suse, KP




Freise & Johnny - Green and Gold medallists (the ultimate ulty squad - 20 or so of the best players from any team)

What else we did:

(i) Kissed everyone





(ii) Moho Man



Moho is the name of the Melb Uni team. It's been the butt of many jokes, like, if you say it long enough, eventually it becomes: mo-ho, mo-ho, mo ho mo ho-mo, ho-mo, ho-mo...

(iii) Um...



(iv) Ummmm...



(v) Bask



(vi) Play frisket (frisbee-cricket)



(vii) Watch the final



What happened at the post-tournament party:

Lots and lots of fun, starting with a barbecue at Johnny's. In the midst of food, alcohol and general banter and silliness, I was named Rookie of the Year while Freise was named Import of the Year. Suse was so pleased at having won the bronze medal (it was her last tournament - she's submitting her thesis soon) she bought us all a huge box of bananas. For those of you who don't know the significance of this - cyclone struck Queensland, wiped out 90% banana crop, prices skyrocketed, banana gains cult status. We had a very good laugh about it and pigged on bananas, but wow, it must have cost her a bomb.

From thereon, we progressed to a nearby pub on Sydney Rd. I stayed out till 2am, and some of them carried it on till 6.30am. At the pub, Pat went on a mission to get me drunk and get everyone in on it as well. As a result, I ended up drinking...a fair bit. It failed, much to his chagrin. I felt a bit sick at the end, but was nowhere near the definition of drunk. The upside was, I didn't have to fork out a cent for drinks. People took turns buying me them. If I remember right, I had, in the approximate order - vodka punch, vodka punch, beer, beer, alcoholic smoothie, cowboy, cowboy, gin and tonic, tequila, jager, sambuca, raspberry vodka and vodka orange.

The first 5 were at Johnny's place. So believe it or not, all in all, I had 5 shots and 3 mixes at the pub, each bought by and taken with a different team member in the span of a coupla hours. I was amazed I was still standing. I somewhat expected a deadly hangover the next morning, but surprisingly, I woke up early, feeling more refreshed than I've felt in awhile. Admittedly, I spewed out most of the alcohol when I reached home, which was probably why I felt all right the next day.

When I'm going to end this post:

Very, very soon. Work a-calling. It's been back to the grind for 2+ weeks now, but not before going through the usual PTD (Post Tournament Depression). I think most of us did. The last leg of the car ride home was the most depressing of all. Having spent one glorious week in an ultimate frisbee bubble with the best kinds of people, the prospect of having to return to reality and uni and exams seemed too bleak to bear.

But, as Barrie said to me once, we get by in the end - we just live from one frisbee tournament to the next. He also said, it's not called Cultimate for nothing.

Cheers!

malaysia makes the news again!

It's been a little over a week now since I came back from Adelaide, and it's been full steam ahead with assignments and deadlines, hence the lack of a post-tournament update. I would like to reflect on the tournament eventually, preferably when I've got more pictures and time. In short though, AUG was fantastic. I'm still recovering from a bruised finger and developing shin splints, but people, for the BRONZE MEDAL at the national level, it was every bit worth it!

I've been a little out of touch with news back home since the Mahathir hoo-ha, but it seems every time I do check, there is never a dearth of similarly amusing stories to entertain me. Ah Malaysia! How I love thee.

Malaysia cracks down on "salad language"

All the other links in the article are worth clicking on too. Unsurprisingly, such a development opens up floodgates for the usual lost-in-translation digs. It's funny how so many well-worn English phrases become suspicious sexual innuendoes once translated into BM, as pointed out by the M'sian blogger linked in the article and the comments on his comments page.

Joystick - Kayu Gembira
Touch N' Go - Raba dan Pergi
Plug and Play Device - Peralatan Cucuk dan Main

*giggles*

But oh goodness, MyKad to Kadaku... And Rais' suggestion that 'Boulevard' be changed to 'Lebuh Perdana' is laughable. As if our road names weren't long enough already. As a commenter implied, they (well, the government) were the ones who came up with Cyberjaya (name of a suburb) in the first place.

Seeing 'bahasa rojak' translated as 'salad language' was interesting. I've never seen that version before. In fact, I've never seen any version before, so maybe that's why. My sister's speech is a prime example of bahasa rojak. Everytime I go back, I never fail to gawp at the progress she's made in fusing 3 different languages together in one sentence. This would then be followed by much teasing and laughing from her 2 other helpful and supportive siblings, and an admonition from my mom, "Don't speak like rojak!"...the irony of which, I've just realised.

While we're on the topic of languages, I stumbled across a blog written entirely in Hokkien some time ago. It's hilarious if you know Hokkien, so, sorry for those who miss out. He recently posted lyrics to a Hokkien song I've been half-heartedly searching for, which made me happy. Hokkien songs bring up such vivid memories of my dad, Chinese New Year and grandiose Chinese hotel wedding dinners.

Happy mid-autumn festival! I want mooooncake...mmm double yolk...