revisiting the cane
I'm stuck in a rut though I haven't even begun. Aditi will be disappointed in me. :-( *groan* ...ToK. I wish I knew what it really wanted. I'm not even sure what I think anymore. I keep debating the issue with myself but I feel like I'm going round in circles and never really stepping past the scope of personal experience.
Doing a ToK presentation on corporal punishment has generated some rather interesting effects. Every now and then, in between researching and trying to sort out the mess in my head, I'd be suddenly struck by a vivid memory from the times when the cane ruled, leaving me rather shaken at the end of the little video in my head. I'm surprised that I still remember the fear and the events so clearly though they haven't crossed my mind in years. I guess there hasn't been a reason for me to look back on that part of childhood, though doing it now, involuntarily at that, makes me feel uneasy.
I remember screaming as loud as I could even though the pain didn't warrant that level of screaming, with the wild hope in my head that the neighbours will hear and come hurrying to our door demanding to know if there's been child abuse going on. I remember rubbing my legs against the pillows, writhing about and weakly dodging, because usually the warning was the more I dodged the harder I would be caned. I remember sobbing out apologies and begging them to stop. I remember sitting in my room studying, trying to block out the screams that were coming from my brother's room next door, or from the neighbour's house behind. Other people caned their kids too. I remember telling my parents "It's about time you gave her a good caning" when my sister was being rude and impertinent. It wasn't malicious though, it was simply matter-of-fact. But all that, they were so long ago. I don't understand. Despite those...unpleasant memories, why do I still think corporal punishment is right??!
Have I been so strongly conditioned I find it hard to imagine otherwise? I've always been contented with thinking that caning should be a normal part of childhood and now that time has taken the sting away, I believed this meant I could reflect on it objectively, without emotions getting in the way. I've never questioned the authority of it, and was satisfied, even willing, to call it a neccessary part of the disciplining process. Perhaps because I attribute what I am today to the strict disciplining I received when I was younger. But as Aditi says, there is no basis for that attribution, and fine, even if I think it works for me, I cannot explain why others should receive it too, especially since I know people who turned out well without having ever been caned.
On a lighter note though, I've found some amusement from those memories. I could write a hefty volume on the cane, how thinner ones would sting more than thick ones, how we used to cellophane tape the end of the cane so we wouldn't have to deal with split ends, or how we tried to hide the canes from my parents, only it just postponed the act as canes were sold abundantly in shops like Star Enterprise.
...actually, to an unaccustomed ear, this probably sounds rather morbid. XD But it's all right. I don't hate my parents, I'm not emotionally scarred for life, and somehow, stubbornly, I still think a certain degree of corporal punishment under certain conditions can be useful. Now I just need to find valid reasons to justify this view.
Doing a ToK presentation on corporal punishment has generated some rather interesting effects. Every now and then, in between researching and trying to sort out the mess in my head, I'd be suddenly struck by a vivid memory from the times when the cane ruled, leaving me rather shaken at the end of the little video in my head. I'm surprised that I still remember the fear and the events so clearly though they haven't crossed my mind in years. I guess there hasn't been a reason for me to look back on that part of childhood, though doing it now, involuntarily at that, makes me feel uneasy.
I remember screaming as loud as I could even though the pain didn't warrant that level of screaming, with the wild hope in my head that the neighbours will hear and come hurrying to our door demanding to know if there's been child abuse going on. I remember rubbing my legs against the pillows, writhing about and weakly dodging, because usually the warning was the more I dodged the harder I would be caned. I remember sobbing out apologies and begging them to stop. I remember sitting in my room studying, trying to block out the screams that were coming from my brother's room next door, or from the neighbour's house behind. Other people caned their kids too. I remember telling my parents "It's about time you gave her a good caning" when my sister was being rude and impertinent. It wasn't malicious though, it was simply matter-of-fact. But all that, they were so long ago. I don't understand. Despite those...unpleasant memories, why do I still think corporal punishment is right??!
Have I been so strongly conditioned I find it hard to imagine otherwise? I've always been contented with thinking that caning should be a normal part of childhood and now that time has taken the sting away, I believed this meant I could reflect on it objectively, without emotions getting in the way. I've never questioned the authority of it, and was satisfied, even willing, to call it a neccessary part of the disciplining process. Perhaps because I attribute what I am today to the strict disciplining I received when I was younger. But as Aditi says, there is no basis for that attribution, and fine, even if I think it works for me, I cannot explain why others should receive it too, especially since I know people who turned out well without having ever been caned.
On a lighter note though, I've found some amusement from those memories. I could write a hefty volume on the cane, how thinner ones would sting more than thick ones, how we used to cellophane tape the end of the cane so we wouldn't have to deal with split ends, or how we tried to hide the canes from my parents, only it just postponed the act as canes were sold abundantly in shops like Star Enterprise.
...actually, to an unaccustomed ear, this probably sounds rather morbid. XD But it's all right. I don't hate my parents, I'm not emotionally scarred for life, and somehow, stubbornly, I still think a certain degree of corporal punishment under certain conditions can be useful. Now I just need to find valid reasons to justify this view.
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