the could-have-been's

Yurgh...I need to whine about my Maths and Chem test today. The feeling of knowing you can do better but didn't is worse than knowing you didn't study for it so you're not going to do well. It's like the feeling when you make careless mistakes y'know. I must have went too slow on my Chem test cause when Mrs. Greenhill said 5 more minutes, girls, I still had a page left undone. So I abandoned the calculations I was in the midst of doing and flipped over and scrawled any answer I could to questions that didn't need much thinking or calculation, which unfortunately for me, wasn't exactly in abundance. I'm questioning the wisdom of that move now, having a page of properly done calculations and a page blank or two pages of hastily done calculations and half (and probably incorrectly) answered questions.

Maths test was okay, questions and time wise, besides I like calculus. BUT. Careless mistakes. *sob. I lost a definite 8 marks already. And we've to give some leeway to other mistakes I'll probably make along the way. It's out of 50 too, so 8 marks is whopping big. Sigh...I suppose everyone else who did the tests will have their own version of gripes. It's not about 'You call that bad? I did even worse..." or "it's not THAT many marks lost..." - but about not meeting up to your own expectations. And frankly, I expected much more of myself. It's a hard thing to satisfy. In retrospect, there will always be something I could have done better, something I could have done more carefully, something I could have done quicker.

I might as well make the most of whatever remaining shambles of today, ride this wave of blues and let it carry me through my homework which I wouldn't have done so readily if I wasn't feeling kinda down-ish right now. Sometimes, disappointment is the best form of motivation.

Meanwhile, here's another two to toss into the ever-growing pile of 'could-have-been's.